Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tummy Mommy

Ruth started a conversation this morning with "what colour am I?". And this is not a new thing to talk about, but it continued with all the family members and then a statement. "I want to be white". So we had our first chat about her Tummy Mommy who is brown like she is. She has always really enjoyed looking through and listening to us tell or read "The Story of Baby Ruth" and even got the book out to ask if that brown lady in the picture was her Tummy Mommy (at least I knew she understood what I was trying to explain). I explained that Aggie just looked after her for a little while. She then asked if her Tummy Mommy could come to her birthday party and I had to explain that we don't know her Tummy Mommy.
It was such a blessing to be sitting having our reading time together when this conversation started. We could just chat about things and have some cuddles and kisses.
It did not worry me when she said she wanted to be white. I knew she was just expressing the desire to be the same as us. And that was why it ended up being such a wonderful time talking. Just explaining that the colour of our skin is really not at all important. Yes, it is because she has a different "tummy mommy" to Rachel and Hannah, but that makes no difference in our family.It was such a lovely time of talking. When Dad got home I asked her to tell him about it and what really stands out for her (what she mentioned to him) is that we don't know where her tummy mommy is - that we don't know who she is. So more than the adoption and the colour - I think that will be the hardest thing for her to deal with over the years. But the story also pictures her tummy mommy in the best light and I told Ruth today that she did not have food or clothes for her baby and so she wanted her baby to have a family who could give her all of that. The sweet girl said "she could just give me some chips". :-)

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